Neurodivergence Late Diagnosis Assessments
Gain clarity in your relationships with a neurodivergence assessment.
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Are You or Your Partner Possibly On the Spectrum?
We are seeing more and more individuals and couples coming to therapy who are surprised to find out that their symptoms and issues are a result of being neurodivergent.
Individuals on the spectrum often present to therapy with a typical range of mental health complaints, such as:
- Anxiety
- Depression
- Burnout
- Fatigue
- Addictions
- Isolation
- Lack of Confidence
However, the most common reason we see neurodivergent clients come to therapy is because of relationship struggles.
We are seeing a pattern of interpersonal issues that clue us into exploring the possibility someone may be on the spectrum. One of our first clues is when the neurotypical partner describes their neurodivergent partners as being “rigid”, “uncompromising”, “odd”, “uncaring”, even rude.
Another is the neurodivergent partner having received many labels or diagnoses, such as:
- Eccentric
- Arrogant
- Narcissistic
- Bipolar
- Highly Sensitive
- Under-Emotional
- Borderline
- Avoidant
Some of our neurodivergent clients have previously considered the idea that they are on the spectrum, but for others, they are genuinely surprised. What they all share is a long history, going back to childhood, of feeling “different”, having trouble with social/emotional interactions, and challenges with understanding their own, and other’s emotions.
Many of our neurodivergent couples tell us that previous efforts at couples counseling have been ineffective, even harmful. Some of the common issues they describe include a frustrating lack of progress, negative judgments, and even criticism.
This is not surprising, given that there is limited professional training in current understandings of neurodiversity, especially on how men and women on the spectrum can camouflage or compensate for their autistic characteristics.
What Does Being “On the Spectrum” Really Mean?
Being “on the spectrum” is a term used to describe someone who falls on the autistic continuum. This means their brains are wired differently than what is considered “typical” – the term often used is “neurotypical”.
We are increasingly using the term neurodivergence to describe people whose brains function differently. ADHD and Autism are two of the most common, and there is a fair amount of overlap between the two. AuDHD is the term used for the dual diagnosis of ADHD and Autism.
There is a wide range of how autism presents, and as the saying goes; “If you meet one person with autism, you’ve met one person with autism”. It exists on a spectrum, with a wide variability. So, the term “on the spectrum” is meant to highlight the fact that everyone who is neurodivergent is unique, with their own blueprint of strengths and challenges like anyone else.
What Are the Characteristics of Autism?
Autism, or autism spectrum disorder (ASD), is defined as a broad range of conditions characterized by challenges with social skills, repetitive behaviors, speech and nonverbal communication. For anyone on the spectrum, they will have strengths and challenges in some areas, but not in others.
No two people will look or act the same, and many are able to “mask” or hide aspects of their autism. This is why so many people go undiagnosed until later in life – and in our experience – until they get into relationships that expose the differences in how they interact socially and emotionally.
Some of the More Common Characteristics Seen In People Who are “On the Spectrum”
Social:
- Low desire to bond socially
- Difficulty recognizing or understanding emotions (their own or others)
- Miss or misinterpret the emotions of others
- Become dysregulated around strong emotions (their own or others)
- Chronic social anxiety
Restrictive and/or Repetitive Behavior:
- Stimming – repetitive sounds or movements that are experienced as calming or regulating
- Involuntary noises, like chuckling, throat-clearing, humming
- Heavy reliance on daily routines and difficulties with change (lack of flexibility)
- Strong need to organize space and arrange items in specific order (rigid ways of doing things)
Communication:
- Difficulty making conversation
- Discomfort with eye contact
- Difficulty understanding sarcasm or idioms
- Lack of verbal inflection (speaks with more of a monotone)
- Trouble reading facial expressions and body language (can’t read the room)
- Interpreting abstract ideas literally (in a concrete way)
Interests & Activities:
- Gets obsessive about interests and/or limited interests
- Preference for solitary activities
- Superior abilities in certain areas (memory, seeing patterns, math, technology, engineering)
Why Is It Helpful to Know If You’re On the Spectrum?
When confirming the diagnosis of autism, many of our clients express a sense of relief, vindication, and validation. Gradually there is a process of making sense of past and current experiences through the new lens of autism.
There is less self-blame and judgement and more compassion and confidence. Our clients often say that finding out they are on the spectrum is life changing. It makes sense to them, and helps them put many pieces of their life puzzle into a whole.
Here are other reasons that knowing they are on the spectrum has been helpful:
- It gives them a better understanding of themselves and leads to a more compassionate and positive self image.
- It gives their family, friends and colleagues a better understanding of them and how they “tick”.
- It helps them construct their lives in a way that highlights their strengths and minimizes stress on their unique nervous system.
- It reduces negative judgments and misunderstandings in their relationships.
- It can replace incorrect diagnoses.
Late Diagnosis For Adults
A formal diagnosis of autism needs to come from a psychologist, psychiatrist, or similarly trained professional who is trained in ASD. There is no medical test or blood work that points to autism.
Rather, the “gold standard” assessment consists of a combination of questionnaires, in-depth background history, and a clinical interview. There is ongoing research that suggests many of the standard questionnaires under-represent how autism is presented for some individuals.
Some men and women learned how to camouflage and compensate for some of the more obvious “tells”, such as social anxiety, emotional confusion, and stimming. In addition, it has been found that autistic females often demonstrate better social and communication skills than autistic males, leading them to be under-diagnosed when using only the standard diagnostic instruments for autism.
Newer assessments are being developed that are more sensitive to the subtle characteristics of autism for both males and females who can “mask” (hide) their autistic traits.
On the Spectrum? The Syrona Assessment
(The Syrona assessment is a 4-part process that takes about 4 hours.)
An Initial Interview
This is a discussion about why you are looking to find out if you are on the spectrum. It focuses on current life events and issues, and provides an overview for the rest of the assessment.
Questionnaires
We then have you fill out several diagnostic questionnaires, including newer ones which are designed to be sensitive to the more subtle characteristics often missed by the standard assessments.
An In-Depth Background History
This is a several hour process that focuses on how your life has played out, with a strong emphasis on the first two decades of your life. If you have family or friends who are able to provide additional information we encourage this additional input.
Summary
After we have all the data, we put together a summary of findings.
If there is a diagnosis of autism, we help you sort out how you want to proceed. Not everyone feels the need to disclose their diagnosis, and if they do, it might be to only a select group.
If wanted, we discuss how to explain the diagnosis to others, whether they are a partner, family members, friends, and/or colleagues. We prepare you to potentially face doubt and skepticism about the diagnosis, given that you may not represent the classic stereotype of autism.
Some of the responses our clients report include: “Oh but you are too empathic/social/warm/friendly” or “you don’t act like you are autistic”, or “everyone thinks they are on the spectrum today!” It can be helpful to be emotionally prepared and have pre-thought-out and respectful answers for such comments.
Fortunately, there is growing awareness and acceptance of the more nuanced and subtle characteristics of autistic men and women who have been masking for years.
For Neurodivergent Couples
Here at Syrona, we offer couples therapy that is sensitive to the unique needs of neurodivergent couples. Typical couples therapy and interventions can cause unnecessary hurt and confusion if the therapist is not trained in ASD.
We focus on identifying the unique constellation of autistic traits and characteristics of the neurodivergent partner. This allows us to help the couple develop a working connection and bond while understanding and honoring the strength and limitations of the individual on the spectrum.
Each neurodivergent couples relationship is different, so the therapy needs to be navigated with awareness, understanding, knowledge and sensitivity.
Call us today if you would like couples therapy with therapists trained in ASD.
Why People Choose Syrona Intensives for Counseling
“The work that ensued in [the Intensive] has healed and set my heart and soul free. [Dr. Kelly] got into the trenches of aching grief and pain and pulled me out in ways I never dreamed possible. Her dedication to her profession and dedication to me saved my life”.
~38-year-old female
“Nothing really prepared me for the sheer amount of insight and understanding I gained during my Intensive. I laughed, I cried, I got clear. And I found my way out with the compassionate and talented guidance of a true professional. Thank you Syrona”.
~46 year old male
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